Please just let me know if you need anything....
[Edit: You may be easily offended by this post. You may think that I am complaining. You may think that I am looking for someone to feel sorry for me. I don't care. That's not why I wrote this and that is not what my implications are at all. I realize that I am subjecting myself to the harsh world of the Internet and all of the judgments that come along with that. If you don't have a disabled child to take care of, then you don't know what I am going through. You don't understand the emotional and and physical exhaustion that I feel every single day. If you hate this post, then stop reading my blog. If you like it, if you relate, then good for you and keep on reading... Love, Devyn.]
I cannot tell you how many times I have heard people say that to me. And, honestly, it sucks. I feel like it is a way for people to make themselves feel better instead of actually helping. I don't care how sincere you are, it doesn't make any difference in my pile of laundry. It doesn't move my mountain of dishes that have been sitting in the sink. It doesn't entertain Oliver when I simply can't play trains on the floor for 5 more seconds. It just doesn't. And it sucks.
I cannot tell you how many times I have heard people say that to me. And, honestly, it sucks. I feel like it is a way for people to make themselves feel better instead of actually helping. I don't care how sincere you are, it doesn't make any difference in my pile of laundry. It doesn't move my mountain of dishes that have been sitting in the sink. It doesn't entertain Oliver when I simply can't play trains on the floor for 5 more seconds. It just doesn't. And it sucks.
I am not too proud to know when I need help. It's just the asking part that is so, so hard. I'm not going to call you up and say, "Hey, I don't have anything to cook my family for dinner and I'm way too exhausted to get creative with chicken and rice for the 4th time this week. Would you mind dropping off a casserole for us?" I'm just not going to do that. I don't think anyone would do that, really.
If you really want to help, come pick up Oliver and take him to the park. I swear it won't be weird or awkward. If you really want to help, come over and vacuum, or wash some dishes, or do any little thing that would make my day that much easier. I promise I will not turn you away. I want the help. I need the help. An awful lot of people have said they will do anything to help, but where are they?
Excuse me, if I sound whiny or rude. I'm not asking for a personal maid to clean my house, cook my dinner, and watch my kids. But occasionally, a break would be nice.
This post is more about bringing awareness to anyone and everyone who has ever said Please just let me know if you need anything....
If you mean this, then do it. And don't wait for a call. A new mother, a parent with a sick child, a caregiver to someone with disabilities, doesn't have time to sit around and feel sorry for themselves and think, "How am I ever going to do x, y, z..." They just get up and do it. But I guarantee that if you showed up at their door and offered to put in a load of laundry or clean out the 6 Tupperware containers in their fridge of who knows what, you would not be dismissed. You would instead see a face full of gratitude or, at the very least, relief. Don't just say this and turn around feeling better about yourself for offering, actually do something.
Please just let me know if you need anything....
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